Pedestrian Man

don't strum so hard

2008-01-17T06:17:00.001-08:00

Well it's been two months now, and my playing is really getting much better. But here are trials of playing guitar -- oh my, I broke a nail!

the trials of not using photo-emulsion

2007-05-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

Here we have the real pain of my choice not to use photo-emulsion. These are test prints of the screens I am planning to use for shirt printing.

All the noise in the print is a consequence of the screen not being properly sealed after my first application. I would need to do two (or probably more like three) applications (including all the arduous cutting in). This really cramps my style man!

I originally chose not to use photo-emulsion because the miracle that is photo-sensitive medium relies on Potassium Dichromate which is rated as extremely hazardous and cancer causing. Lovely.

... anyhow, I'm screwed. I need a simpler way to produce these screens. It does help to be able to print on the silkscreen with the laser printer. But this issue of bad sealing is making me crazy.

they eat, and eat, and eat

2007-05-04T13:38:00.000-07:00

The worm composter is running well. The worms are eating their meals. I'm blending up their food for now to help get the process going more quickly. I put food scraps like broccoli stalks, collard green stems, and carrot tops in a jar. Then when I have enough, I dump all the scraps in a blender, add a bunch of water, and ta-da! -- instant worm food.

Here is the slop poured into the first empty tray (about 3:00pm).

I then cover it with a sheet of wet newspaper.
Here is the slop the next morning (about 7:00 am).

Here it is about 24 hours later (3:00 pm).

And finally about 48 hours later (3:00 pm).

As you can see, they've sucked it all down leaving only the fibrous material.

Worms are go!

2007-04-30T03:42:00.000-07:00

I just checked on them this morning, and the worms are doing just fine. They have eaten all the starter food that I gave them (about a cup of blended up broccoli stalks and water). I can't even find the food I gave them, it's gone completely. I can finally begin to feed the worms for real now. It's been one day less than a week (six days).

worms take two

2007-04-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here's the new worm bin. I purchased the bin and two pounds of redworms from Happy D Ranch. I like Happy D because they include extensive instructions with the shipment. I am (well Sqrl is the "regulator") following the directions carefully this time (no more worm apocalypse). You can see a few on top of the newspaper.

And here they are en masse. I have to admit that even though I handle them and everything, looking at this picture now makes me a little idgy. There's something about worms that is just plain visceral.
A lone worm on the prowl.

first "take one" holder is down

2007-04-28T09:15:00.000-07:00

The Pedestrian Propaganda "take one" holder didn't fair so well through the two days of rain. It was under an awning (overhang) at the train station so it didn't receive direct rain. But the general wetness (maybe wind-blown water?) made the stamp in the back stick to the holder. Most of the stamps themselves were just fine (a little curly, but not stuck together). However, the holder itself more or less fell apart -- it ripped along the folded edge that makes the box which makes sense since I score that line with a stylus to get a clean fold).

The upside is that nine were missing! That means that in just four days nine were taken (and therefore distributed). I'd say that's a pretty good rate for a fairly small train station (Lansdale station) in a relatively low traffic area (the holder was mounted on a pay phone around the back of the station -- though maybe the pay phone mounting had something to do with the success).

First "take one" holder is up

2007-04-24T11:36:00.000-07:00

I mounted my first Pedestrian Propaganda distribution holder the other day. I loaded it up with 15 Big Stamps (which are pieces pre-coated with paste so all you have to do is wet them to stick them up). Today, I went back to check on it and two were missing. I'll do another check in a few more days.

And on another exciting note... Look what you can do with a laser printer! I used my HP LaserJet to print directly on silkscreen mesh (I used synthetic mono-filament). The advantage of this is that I can transfer designs to the mesh with great accuracy. Typically, silkscreen printers just use photo-emulsion (such as Diazo by Speedball) to set the design in the screen. Though there are several different formulas for photo-emulsion, the problem with all of them is that they are fairly toxic (contianing either Diphenylamine, or a Dichromate), and often carcinogenic. So, I am hand-painting the resist until I can find (or someone invents) a non-toxic photo emulsion. In the meantime, this being able to print on mesh with a laser printer is kinda cool and may prove useful beyond this application anyway.

First PPP test shirt done

2007-04-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

Alright! The first Pedestrian Propaganda test shirt is done. Black on dark blue wouldn't be my choice for contrast, but it's an old shirt so it was good for testing. Also, I think I finally found a source for the blank shirts that makes me really happy. It's called Nueva Vida -- a women's sewing cooperative in Nicaragua. I can buy the shirts from World Centric (at a premium since I'm not buying wholesale). All very exciting. Not just organic cotton, but truly fair trade.

PPP survey

2007-04-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

In preparation for making shirts of the Pedestrian Propaganda Project, I asked a bunch of people to choose their favorite pieces. Here's a graph of the results -- you can see that "food ?" and "circle of life ?" were the breakaway favorites.

worm crisis

2007-04-16T15:30:00.000-07:00

I had a serious worm compost crisis today. You'll have to excuse the absence of pictures as the trauma made me go straight to work (I guess I'm not a war photographer).

I pulled up the larger bucket containing the worms (or at least the bucket which should have contained worms...) to find ALL the worms in the bottom bucket (which is only for drainage). The night crawlers (which I was worried about putting in there) were all drowned and dead. Their little bodies bloated and full of bubbles. Most of the red worms were on the sides of the bucket trapped between the upper bucket (which all the worms were running from) and the lake of worm urine which the night crawlers dead bodies were floating in. AAAHHHHGG! Sqrl!!! The worms!

Sqrl came running down the stairs and helped (with moral support) as I removed the surviving red worms from the sides of the bucket. I put the survivors back into the top bucket, and took the worms which were in the "tea" at the bottom outside for burial (also allowing missed survivors to escape).

I have been scouring the web for the last several hours to determine the cause of the downward seeking worms. As near as I can figure, they were leaving because I overfed them. By adding too much food too soon, I created a hot environment which I think drove the worms out of the compost to save themselves from being baked. I also believe that my "brilliant" bucket design is too deep and helped to create the hostile environment. Commercial worm bins are always designed with more surface area (often 16 inches square) so the worms are always working on a thin layer of garbage (one site said NEVER more than one inch deep). So, I ordered a proper worm bin from Happy D Ranch. But until that arrives I need to keep a closer eye on the worms. Now I have a thermometer in the compost to measure the the temperature. I also added a little whiting (calcium carbonate) to help keep the pH up. By the end of the week the new bin should arrive... I'll post more when things change.

paste and paper curl

2007-04-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

In experimenting with different kinds of paste, I found an interesting thing. Not only does sugar make paste stick to a wider variety of surfaces, it also changes the drying time.

So, here is a picture of a piece that was coated (on its back) with paste that had no sugar. Notice that the curl is in the direction of the pasted side -- meaning that the paste dried before the paper, and thus the shrinkage occurred on that side.Next, is a picture of a piece that was coated (again on the back) with paste which did contain sugar. Note that the curl is going away from the pasted side -- so here the paper dried before the paste.

Now you ask "then there must be a balance then right?" And the answer is, yes there is. I found that paste which contained equal parts flour and sugar did not make the paper curl in either direction (barring the usual warping from getting wet during application). Here's the good recipe so far:

1 part white flour (aka "all purpose")
1 part sugar
4 parts water

Cook until it thickens... and you're good to go.

first big sign comes down

2007-04-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

Well, the rain and snow had its way. I guess cardboard is really a dry weather medium.

first big PPP sign up

2007-04-14T06:46:00.000-07:00

I posted my first big Pedestrian Propaganda sign -- I have to say it felt bigger before I put it under a real street sign (geeze they're big). A big storm is expected in a day or two, so for now I'm just putting this one up so I can see what happens to it in the rain (remember they are made of cardboard).

Pretty easy to attach -- all these kinds of posts are standardized with holes one inch apart. I just made holes in my cardboard sign so it would match up with the holes in the post, and then attached with aluminum wire.

Worms are here!

2007-04-14T06:03:00.000-07:00

Ha ha! The worms have arrived! They arrived in a bag in a box -- they were all huddled together. I am excited to get started with worm composting. My only concern is that I ordered a mix of red worms (Eisenia foetida) and night crawlers (Eisenia hortensis). I'm not sure that the hortensis will be happy in the confinement of a worm bin. But I guess we'll see -- if a year from now I only have foetida in the bin, then I guess the hortensis weren't okay.

Anyway, here's a handful of soon to be compost worms.

And here's a little beetle that stowed away in the worm sack (I put it outside).

You can see the worms searching around the edges of the tray before they went into the composter.

And here is the composter itself. I just used a 5 gallon bucket. I drilled 1/4 inch holes in the bottom for drainage (and to allow migration for stacking in the future), and 1/16 inch holes around the rim and in the lid for ventilation.
I got a lot of info on Washington University's site. And I really recommend going to Composters.com to shop the huge selection of compost products (including general yard maintenance products).

time for big signs

2007-04-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

In keeping with my mocking signage... I am making some big signs (actual street-sign size). I just print up four sheets, trim the edges, and paste onto a cardboard backing -- eazy.

Pedestrian Propaganda -- big time!

long time, no blog

2007-04-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

My word it's been a while. Well, we're well situated in our new place in Lansdale, PA. Sqrl and I are painting now (our new day-job). And I'm still plodding ahead with the Pedestrian Propaganda Project.

In some very (VERY) exciting news... I was contacted almost two weeks ago (March 30th) by someone who found the PPP gallery in the colloquial "middle of nowhere" (that interesting building in Texas) -- which, incidentally, was about the last place I actually expected someone to find propaganda (especially considering all the very obvious places I tagged up). This person expressed great interest in acquiring more stuff from the PPP (thank you Ashley). So I put together a PDF file which contains the complete set. With this file, you can simply print up your own signs for your own (non-commercial) purposes (special thanks to CreativeCommons).

I am also going to order all the junk so that we can finally have a real printing studio in the house (silkscreen printing). Now I'll be able to make shirts at last! All very good. All very exciting. I'll post more when I get some pictures.

God Bless America

2007-03-12T13:27:00.000-07:00

At the suggestion of my sister, Melanie, I made a video to go with my song, "God Bless America".

Illustration Friday - hide

2007-03-04T13:23:00.000-08:00

Pedestrian Propaganda... censored

2007-03-03T15:13:00.000-08:00

So, I put up "DIRTY ?" under Michael and Amy's staircase, and the maintenance people... well... they CENSORED me!

I just can't figure why they thought white spray-paint would be a good solution on a wood staircase. (not to mention the fact that all the propaganda is put up with water-soluble glue)

in NC and no stow-away

2007-02-27T09:11:00.000-08:00

Well, we're in North Carolina now visiting Michael and Amy (Melissa's brother and sister-in-law). I got a live-catch trap to try to apprehend our mouse stow away. But as you can see, the trap remains unsprung. As best we can figure, it must have jump ship in Arkansas -- but we'll never know for sure.

Near Michael and Amy's apartment, there is a lake (with tons of seagulls).

And we went for a picnic in the local state park

Illustration Friday - gravity

2007-02-20T08:45:00.000-08:00

Gravity... or the lack thereof

Welcome to Tennessee

2007-02-20T08:41:00.000-08:00

Once again I stopped to see the Tennessee welcome center -- with its giant, bronze statues of BB King and Elvis.Thank you... thank you verymuch

mouse-o-meal

2007-02-20T08:32:00.000-08:00

On the plate last night...

a dried cherry
a piece of dried mango
an almond
a slice of zucchini
a piece of fresh apple
a piece of bread

This morning... the cherry and zucchini are still there -- all else is gone

our mouse stow away

2007-02-17T19:21:00.000-08:00

So the mouse has made itself comfortable. Last night, we heard it tearing at cardboard. I guess if it didn't want to stick around, it would have jumped ship days ago.

Here's tonight's dinner plate

gallery on Interstate 20

2007-02-17T18:45:00.000-08:00

We are forever, forever in Texas. Yesterday, we found an interesting building on Interstate 20.

And so, we did an impromptu show.

Pedestrian Propaganda somewhere in Texas.

forever traveling through texas

2007-02-17T18:30:00.000-08:00

Last night we stayed at Big Spring campground

Tonight we are staying in a hotel

... a hotel which has a vending machine in the lobby with... well... interesting (albeit appropriate) contents

in Las Cruces

2007-02-15T07:14:00.000-08:00

here we are in Las Cruces, NM

pedestrian propaganda

2007-02-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

I've begun placing pedestrian propaganda (this isn't the first, but it's the first stuff I have good pictures of) -- this time in a stairwell of a Super 8 motel in Las Cruces, NM.

mousetrap... sprung

2007-02-15T06:59:00.000-08:00

Something I forgot to mention was that we picked up a hitchiker in Quartzite. On the last night we were there, there was tiny grunting and chewing sounds around the place we keep our bread, etc. In the middle of the night (with much complaining) I looked around with a flashlight, and in the bottom of a box, for just a moment, I saw a dark-grey mouse.
This has happened before (on a previous trip). And last time the mouse jumped ship before we left. But not this mouse. So each night since... more tiny grunting and chewing. Well last night I set a trap -- a large plastic container held up in the middle with a stick (precariously balancing the container -- i.e. the trigger), and tied to the stick was a pistachio. Well this morning, the trap was sprung! And the stick... well...it ate the nut, and yet got out. So now, the saga continues.

Illustration Friday - crash

2007-02-14T23:47:00.000-08:00

We (Sqrl and I) are on a trip -- traveling/moving cross-country from California to Pennsylvania. While sitting in the back of the truck before bedtime, this came to me for the subject "crash".

beauty in the desert

2007-02-14T21:41:00.000-08:00

boy oh boy... we sure do love Quartzite, Arizona! Such a little town, so much desert beauty. Behold the lovely pictures...

Today we leave

2007-02-09T08:01:00.000-08:00

We depart for our cross-country trip/move. It has been a nice visit -- lots of family time. It's kind of scary to actually be leaving. We are so loaded down with stuff that everything looks and feels saggy -- the back of the car is nearly scraping the ground.

As you can see in the photo, the tow-bar thing didn't work out (a disaster actaully). We are using a U-Haul tow-dolly. Everything is ready. Just a bit on the heavy side. Damn it's hard to move!

On a nice creativity note... while we were here, Zuri and I made some metal sculpture with our dad's MIG welder.

in LA

2007-02-05T14:55:00.000-08:00

Well, we're in LA. I'm finally getting over being terrible sick. The big family circus has been fun, and in a few days we hit the road for our "real" road trip.

Before we left Arcata (p.s. you should check out our "Last Day" collage ), I printed up a bunch of small posters from the PedestrianPropagandaProject which I plan to paste up around as we travel. I must admit that I am a little nervous about pasting them up 'cause someone might steal my designs -- many people have said they want a T-shirt when I am ready to make them (I guess those are pre-orders). But their easy appeal makes me worry a bit about just putting them out there in the public. Today I am going to spend a little time researching copyright (as well as CreativeCommons) issues to inform myself about what I can do to protect myself.

last night in Arcata

2007-01-28T23:17:00.000-08:00

so much anxiety, so much disorientation, so much fucking stuff packed tightly into our car...

I don't really exist. I feel numb. I don't comprehend our situation.

-- tomorrow we leave

tow-bar for the car

2007-01-23T09:05:00.000-08:00

I installed the tow-bar on Cassy (our '93 Toyota Corolla) so that she can be pulled by the truck.

Sqrl said she looked like "ghetto Cassy" without her bumper

Here is the bracket itself

And here's the complete rig

beach day

2007-01-21T18:15:00.000-08:00

We went to the beach today. Patrick's Point -- North of Trinidad. It was a crisp, cool, sunny day. We found a lot of good driftwood. I found a ton of cool rocks. Since we leave in about a week, this is possibly one of our last trips to the beach here in Humboldt.

strangeness amongst the driftwood

and sea anemone friends

LED lights in the truck

2007-01-21T17:24:00.000-08:00

I finished my LED re-wire in the truck. I removed the old cab light (incandecent) and installed my own six-LED array.

Then there's the light in the back, since we sleep back there.

... and the push-button switch that turns it on

All LEDs are 5 mm, 30 deg, 3.3 volt, 20 mA. The front light (with 6 bulbs in two serial legs) uses 480 mW, while the rear light (with 12 bulbs in four serial legs) uses 960 mW. Since a 12-volt car battery can deliver 1200 watt-hours, the big light (12 bulb) could be run for about 1200 hours before draining the battery.

new pieces

2007-01-18T23:37:00.000-08:00

been doing a bunch lately... here's two

This one's my favorite -- "NO fencing" -- just silly... I like it

This one is Sqrl's least favorite. She said "I don't like that one. It's..."
"raunchy?" I said
"yeah, raunchy."

thank you FreewayBlogger

2007-01-16T11:16:00.000-08:00

via VideoStumble, I learned about a person called FreewayBlogger. He demonstrates how to use freeways (highways) as a place for effective public communication. This really inspired me to get back into the Pedestrian Propaganda Project (PPP).

Something like a year ago, I went around my school campus (Humboldt State University), and posted signs. They were very small (about 3x4 inches), were printed on re-used paper, and were glued up with starch-paste (in keeping with our beliefs in sustainability). I put them in spaces that would recieve a lot of traffic, and yet would not draw a lot of attention. It was my first run at the propaganda thing, and I only had four different pieces in the PPP. Well lately I have been designing more PPP pieces (thanks to my new daily creativity contract with myself) and the time is approaching to go out into the world again.

See, we are moving in two weeks to Philadelphia. And though Arcata has been a wonderful little place to live, I feel very removed from the "real world". I have been thinking on how to make use of the PPP as best as possible. I considered actually making metal (enameled) signs just like the city uses. But I really prefer the frugal approach -- hence my previous run of little paper posters. Then I come accross the FreewayBlogger, and that really gets me back into my own mode and reminds me how effective the "good old fashioned" methods are. I think that I even want to try some freeway-blogging myself. But I am going to at least get back into my posters. This is all quite exciting.

Syntropy / Entropy

2006-05-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

Just finished reading Barbara Ehrenreich's Nickel and Dimed, On (Not) Getting By in America.

Boy, we sure do use eachother. We take advantage of eachother. We hide and pretend not to see the truth.

Why?

Let's start with life. What is it to be alive? To be alive is to have the ability to capitalize a resource. Put more technically, a lifeform is a system capable of enacting syntropy between itself and its parent system.

The human condition is complicated. There are both entropic and syntropic forces at work simultaneously (though this is true about the physical universe as wee, so it's not very odd). You can interperet the current trend of increasing enequallity as an entropic force -- our social fabric unraveling into the spreading black plague of low-wage labor. But it must also be realized that the syntropic force of greed is at work creating that hierarchy through economic organisms that gather resources for their growth.

So it is then our responsibility to work syntropically in the social sector to strengthen social organizationa (or organizations that work toward social equality), and to work to unravel systems of concentrated wealth which will allow for wealth entropy.

Inertia = resource lag

2006-04-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

========
20060428

I am listening to a Science Friday podcast about quantum computing. The guest says that when particles collide they flip bits. Molecular vibration is a storm of calculations. And entropy is a spreading out of calculatory pressure.

That means that matter can be thought of as a dense cloud of calculation objects.

In moving something through space, you are only moving the outer layer of particles (calc. obj.). It is then those particles that push on their neighbors, who push on their neighbors, etc. Think of a 50-gallon trashbag filled with gelatin floating in space. If you pushed ever-so-gently, you could cause the bag of gelatin to drift slowly away. But if you pushed very quickly, your hand would drive the plastic into the mass of gelatin leaving a deep dent, and not causing as much motion as you expected. The inertia of the whole mass was greater than its cohesion.

To relate to the quantum computing thing... by pushing on one side, you cause calculations to be carried out through the entire cloud. So, does this mean that inertia is an expression of the processing power consumed by the entire cloud as it responds to a change in velocity?

--
Check out Science Friday's podcasts

http://www.sciencefriday.com/feed/

Are you an invariant representation?

2006-04-14T12:27:00.000-07:00

===
20060414

Who am I? Am I my brain? Am I my spirit?

The brain is an information organ. It passes information "up" and "down" a hierarchy which is defined in our cerebral cortex. Patterns are recognized, decisions are made, and new patterns are learned in hierarchical levels above the current one. Lets call these pattern objects for now. Then at each level of the hierarchy, there are collections of pattern objects. It is the job of a pattern object in the current level to choose from the collection of pattern objects from the level below.

At the top level there are patterns which Jeff Hawkins refers to as invariant representations (as opposed to "auto-associative memory"). These are top-level pattern objects. At the top level, these objects have the advantage of input that has been refined as it was passed up the hierarchy.

What then is our sense of consciousness? If at each level there are only collections of pattern objects, then our "self" is either, as Jeff says, just the hum of the top-level hierarchy, or our "self" is like a single pattern object in a non-physical level one more up the hierarchy. In the first case, we can use our sense of consciousness to understand how a particular hierarchical level experiences the level below it. In the second case, it would be understanding how a particular pattern object (a cortical column) experiences the level below it.

My hunch is that the "we" that is "self" is a little of both. There are times we are "listening" to the various "voices" which guide our thoughts. But we are also able to asert a single, "self", an "I", that can take control and make top-level decisions that override all. ... or do we?

Is there an "I" which floats above ready to pass judgement? When we make a decision, is it the action of a "supreme judge" (a meta-parent) or is it simply the loudest voice (siblings) drowning out the others?

This is nearly a theological question, or at least a spiritual one. If our self is meerly the collection of siblings duking it out for the podium, then the existance of a "higher power" seems unlikely. If our self is (at least occasionally) the result of a meta-parent, then our self is like a pattern object (child) of a non-physical level above us.

Wealth Entropy

2006-04-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

Choosing not to support the largest company is a choice to support wealth entropy (which furthers socio-economic equality).

---
this came out of a response I had to an email sent to me by my friend Courtney Geetter about waging a "gas war" against Exxon/Mobil.

Are you seeking any help?

2006-04-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday (20060406), I became aware of the connection between specialization, hierarchy, and the disconnect between individuals (people).

In Political Science class, there was a class discussion about a recent on-campus rape. The teacher, Dan Faulk, removed himself from the discussion to see how the class would handle directing a discussion on their own. Overall, a very successful experiment. As Dan later said, the class conducted a repectul, productive, democratec, and gender balanced discussion about a potentially volitile topic.

Many things were discussed. I said that I felt that this "problem" of "what to do" was mostly one of disconnect between people. You see, one of the methods discussed was a small community's (tribal?) ability to ostracize the individual that commited the crime. This led me to my line of thought about seperation. I brought up that we in this current age, in the large, complex, disconnected system we live in -- we cannot use the method of direct ostracization that is available to the small tribe. We don't even know what's going on in the apartemnt next door.

After class, Dan Faulk and I talked about hierarchy and specialization and I realized that they go hand in hand. You cannot have a hierarchy without specialization -- duh!

And specialization is a beautiful, double-edged blade. Specialization is good for the overall system as an organism -- it allows the organism to function well as a whole. But specialization implies a hierarchy. By nature of their design, specialized units cannot be free of dependencies. To be a specialized unit menas to be dependent and to be depended upon. To be specialized means to exist within a hierarchy.

So now... thinking about all this, I'm riding home on my bike... when I ride past this lady catching her balance on the back of a truck. I turn around to see if she's alright. She asks if I can help her walk home -- "just around the corner". I say sure and as she takes off her backpack, I hear heavy bottles clank together, and... then I smell the friggin distillery. Well, I start walking and thinking "what am I doing? How am I gonna get out of this? I'm being an 'enabler'!" And then she starts stumbling out into the treet! I call her back over the the sidewalk and ger her to sit down on the curb. She says how come ya always have to go for the booze? I say it's 'cause life hurts. She says yea, but how come... and she holds up her hand and "drinks" out of her thumb-bottle-neck. And I say it's cause life hurts too much and you need to run away -- you need to bury the pain and alcohol makes the pain go away... for a little while at least.

Just then, a cop pulls up.
She says to me "oh shit! uh... what's your name?"
"Andrew"
"okay... uh, Andrew you're my friend and you are just walking me home and you are gonna take me home now okay?"
"... no, I can't do that. I can't lie for you"
"but please! come on, please!"
"no. You have to deal with this. You have to deal with the cop and I can't lie for you."

After the expected cop/drunk skit, I became aware that life was just putting me through a situation to make me understad the true scope of the disconnect problem.
You see before he arrested her, cuffed her, and took her away -- while he was still doing his cop-lecture shtick -- something he said really stuck with me.

He said to her "are you seeking any help yet?"

Notice the disconnect. In the theoretical small tribe -- the person with a problem like alcoholism would not have to "seek help" because the tight-knit (and largely parrallel) community would be the help. But in our large, complex, disconnected system, we say

"are you seeking any help?"

saying "marijuana" makes me uncomfortabe

2006-04-02T16:05:00.000-07:00

I don't like thinking of how others will percieve me when reading the below poem. I makes me uncomfortable, and I think "I should take it down... I shouldn't post that...". But then another voice (and aparently a stronger voice) comes up and says "if you think you shouldn't post it because people will judge you for it, then that's exactly the reason you have to post it"

I think that's accurate -- it's poetry, not... i dunno, something else.

the poet's lost within me

2006-04-02T14:52:00.000-07:00

here I am again
    so very high today
but to finish with my schoolwork
    I can see no other way
for marijuana gives me focus
    allowing me to tredge
through mounds and mounds of homework
    till I can see the edge
and, the poet's lost within me
    in a cloud of smoke today
but I'm getting high again
    for I see no other way

Jason told me the best thing...

2006-03-30T16:12:00.000-08:00

I gave Jason Galuten a book of my poetry for Christmas. The other day, he and I were using Google Chat (through Gmail)... here's the transcript

Jason: so anyway... your poetry has become popular around here
me: ??
Jason: I have had people over my house on different occasions...
and they end up taking turns reading poetry and laughing and smiling and other things
In fact, I hadn't even read any of it until someone picked it up off of my shelf and began reading stuff aloud
i like ode to a speed bump
there are many other favorites
just las week we had a bonfire at my cabin and people were passing around your book
very nice
me: ... that's.. well the best thing I've heard in quite a while.
Jason: yeah, man... you're stuff is really good... people who don't know you are getting a lot of joy out of it
me: That was my only wish -- truly
Jason: right on
well... you should distribute them more ...
hmm... nah...
just write more..
for me and my friends

Sent at 3:28 pm on Monday

WTO says...

2006-03-28T19:40:00.000-08:00

The richest fifth have 80% of the world’s income and the poorest fifth have 1%; this gap has doubled between 1960 and 2000. (United Nations Human Development Report, 1999)

Berlioz spam I got today...

2006-03-20T16:05:00.000-08:00

I got a wierd spam I got today...

How to make your orgasms last longer...

and Berlioz.

... am I missing something?

Here's the spam.
=========
Zheldybin, had hauled Nikanor Ivanovich out of bed, told him of Berlioz's death and followed him to flat No. 50. There they had sealed the deceased's papers and personal effects. Neither Grunya the maid, who lived out, nor the imprudent Stepan Bogdanovich were in the flat at the time. The police informed Nikanor Ivanovich that they would call later to collect Berlioz's manuscripts for sorting and examination and that his accommodation, consisting of three rooms (the jeweller's study, drawing-room and dining-room) would revert to the tenants' association for disposal. His effects were to be kept under seal until the legatees' claims were proved by the court. The news of Berlioz's death spread through the building with supernatural speed and from seven o'clock on Thursday morning Bosoi started to get telephone calls. After that people began calling in person with written pleas of their urgent need of vacant housing space. Within the space of two hours Nikanor Ivanovich had collected thirty-two such statements. They contained entreaties, threats, intrigue, denunciations, promises to redecorate the flat, remarks about overcrowding and the ourjrlrjrk r k r n rjr pufsl sus hss soonsjsms j himk mqlhmtlsl o l pmt lt momq mrjq lgjkj tj kjrjp f o jqjljm hhmolmmk mom lmqmkm j ks m omh j gjnjt f sjmjpj q j qg s g i gpfstku ltjug ug tfttr m tutj tq thtfpitstf us okrirlr f rrrnr ot nrt r m rprkrgn frr susr rm ogorn m ounlop ooo oosnfqporo go r omoihtlhlsl t qftlt lt mui uqts u pusr uumuruiupunqquk u n uk muhohkithp hjhn irhlgf ili uihis iomniji m i j sdjksdfsdfsdlgkj sdflkjsdf lksdjfsdfsdf

emotional memory

2006-03-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

Listening to a program on NPR's Infinite Mind on memory. They talk about emotion being the strongest enactor of long-term memory. Duh! As the information absorbing organizm the is we, absorbes its environment -- patterns come and patterns go. Some, you see, need to be recorded, remembered for later refrence. ... Ah, I've experienced that before! It's important for some reason because I remember it. My mind decided that I might find this information (or rather it might find the information) useful.

Why?

Because when we experience emotion, we are (subconsciously) placing value on information. As we experience the event through emotion, we interpret the input as having some outstanding (abnormal, or rare) quality. We are training our minds of what is different and should be kept on the lookout for.

Unfortunatly, in this program, they mostly did exercises, talked about a musical, and had a guy on talking about a drug they were designing to enhance the reception of neurotransmitters. But this is like turning up the gain on a mic instead of moving closer to the source -- you amplify the noise as well... what will come of this?

-----
visit the Infinite Mind website

a poem

2006-03-16T08:01:00.000-08:00

I brush by you gently
    like a shadow in the morning
Did I hear you say goodbye
    as I heard the front door closing
I watch you walk away
    with a needle in my heart
How do we live together
    and yet feel so far apart

How did I know the pitch of Snake Rattle n Roll?

2006-03-14T13:36:00.000-08:00

I fired up the NES game Snake Rattle n Roll today... but before I did, I was humming the themesong. The funny thing is that next door, the neighbor is playing music with heavy bass (Mariachi). And though the tonic was poured over me through the wall, I heard the theme song to Snake Rattle n Roll in my head... and it was in a different key. So I tuned out the next-door music and strongly hummed the game themesong to myself as I fired up the emulator... and... spot-on! Exactly right! Now this game came out in 1989. That's 17 years ago. Aside from playing it once when I downloaded it (probably a year ago), I haven't heard this song in over a decade.
That's close enough to "perfect pitch" for me.

I finally finished!

2006-03-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

Today, I finished printing/assembling the last half of my 24 piece edition of my Summer 2005 album. The first 12 were done in December, so the edition was open for about three months. It's a nice feeling of closure to have them done. I now am the proud completor of 18 poetry books and 24 CDs (with booklets).

Not to bash the student part

2006-03-10T19:42:00.000-08:00

The previous post is made in full recognition of the goodness of learning... I'm just done.. burnt out... ready to get on with life.

And... of course, I'll never really stop being a student.

Where am I?

2006-03-10T08:30:00.000-08:00

I am not here.
scooped out, and empty rind tossed on the floor
and I feel nothing

I can't even connect to myself
I can't feel my own feet touching the ground
I've lost the inside of my own mind

my only hope...

one day, I'll be a student no more.

Avatar

2006-03-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

Here's my avitar -- I just needed to store it.

G'day

2006-03-09T15:27:00.000-08:00

Today as I was riding my bike to school, a truck pulled slowly, silently up along side me... then some guy dumped his fucking water bottle in my face! Then they sped off... I flipped them off. Godamit.

Why?